Why did God invent economists? So accountants could have someone to laugh at.
An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
Why accountants don’t read novels? Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
How do you know accountants have no imagination? They named a firm PricewaterhouseCoopers.
What’s the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone.
What’s an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.
How can you tell when the Chief Accountant is getting soft? When he actually listens to Marketing before saying No
What’s the definition of an accountant? Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
What does an accountant say when you ask him the time? It’s 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait – 13 seconds, no wait – 14 seconds, no wait……
In dog years, I’m dead.
All diseases run into one, old age.
Few women admit their age, few men act it.
Age is just a number and mine is un-listed.
Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
Age is important only if you’re cheese and wine.
I’m not 40, I’m eighteen with 22 years experience.
It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle.
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.
Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
There’s no such thing as old age, there is only sorrow.