Beauty is quite different from charm, beauty is what you notice in a woman, charm is when a woman notices you.
Those who say they “sleep like a baby”, haven’t got one.
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
Anyone who says “Easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried it.
Every 4 seconds a woman has a baby. We must find this woman and stop her.
A baby: A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
The only time a woman wishes that she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.
Baby-sitter: a teenager acting like an adult, while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
Laughter is like changing a baby’s diaper. It doesn’t permanently solve any problems, but it makes thing more acceptable for a while.
When I was a baby, I kept a diary. I was reading it and it said: day one, still tired from the move. Day two, everybody talks to me like I’m an idiot.
Do pilots take crash-courses?
“Please dont hang any body parts outside of the aircraft”
‘If you hear me yell;”Eject, Eject, Eject!”, the last two will be echos.’
There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.
‘If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter — and therefore, unsafe.’
‘When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.’
If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
Thank you for flying West Jet Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.