The wise never marry – And when they marry they become otherwise.
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
In love you go to bed early. After marriage, you go to sleep early.
Marriage is a very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.
Bachelors should pay more taxes, they enjoy a better quality of life.
I married Mister Right. I just didn’t know his first name was Always.
Marriage puts a ring on a woman’s finger and two under the man’s eyes.
Love is cuddling on a sofa. Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.
Marriage is a romantic story, in which hero dies in the first chapter.
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
His belt size is “Equator”
His cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
You’re so fat you have your own zip code.
She put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Instead of Levi’s 501s he wears Levi’s 1002s.
The back of his neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
When he bungee jumps, he brings down the bridge too
You’re so fat you had to be baptized at WaterWorld.
When she wears a black raincoat, people shout “Taxi!”