Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let him sleep.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, but then I regain consciousness.
Some people are like blisters. They don’t show up until the work is done.
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
he’s always late. Her ancestors arrived on the JuneFlower.
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence.
Serenity through viciousness.
Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
The reason why women over fifty don’t have babies: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
The real reason you can’t take it with you is that it goes before you do.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.