WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me.
Yes, alcohol kills brain cells. But only the ones that contain good sense, embarrassment and restraint.
How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
What does CPA stand for? Can’t Produce Anything
Accountants don’t die, they just lose there balance.
What an accountant! He is a ledger in his own lifetime.
What would Economics be without assumptions? Accounting
What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? Lost
What does FCPA stand for? Finally Caught Pinching the Assets
What’s an actuary? An accountant without the sense of humour.
When do accountants laugh out loud? When somebody asks for a raise
Sign in an accountant office: “In god we trust.All others we audit.”
What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone? Popular
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? Depreciation.