Forty: The most difficult age for a woman to pass; it often takes years.

The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.

Puberty is a phase… fifteen years of rejection is a lifestyle.

The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

The years that a woman subtracts from her age are not lost. They are added to the ages of other women.

Retirement is when your favourite piece of software is a pillow.

When trying to count the candles on his birthday cake, we were driven back by the heat.

At my age my back goes out more than I do.

They didn’t teach history when you were at school, obviously, because history hadn’t been invented back then.

You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.

I know how to make my wife drive more carefully: I told her that if she has an accident, the newspapers would print her age.

Everybody my age is getting so old.

In 63 now, but that’s just 17 Celsius.

When someone said “a decade ago”, you still think of the early 90s.

I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I’m still looking for ideas.

Age is just a number that determines how happy, attractive, and able-bodied you are.

May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.

I’m young at heart. Slightly older in other places.

You know your old when by the time the last birthday cake candle is lit the first candle has burnt out.