All One Liners

I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting system through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in.

I lost twenty pounds. Unfortunately, I was in England at the time.

I know Karate! …and several other Japanese words.

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves.

I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble

I like pigs better than cat and dogs. Dogs are subservient and look up to man. Cats are aloof and look down on man. A pig, however, will look you in the eye, and see his equal.

I know you know what I think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

I just want to turn on the light and have it work…I don’t want to know where the electricity comes from.

I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand.

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.

I haven’t lost my mind, I know exactly where I left it.

I have no problem keeping secrets. It’s the people I tell…

I have no particular talent, I am merely extremely inquisitive.

I have learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I have learned that the Lord didn’t do it all in one day.
What makes me think I can?

I have learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I have learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I have faith in fools, my friends call it self-confidence.

I have had dreams and I have had nightmares, but I have conquered my nightmares because of my dreams.

I have gotten to the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before I can ask where I left my glasses.