Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He’s all right now.
Get a new car for your spouse – it’ll be a great trade!
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers? One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.
If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself the accident would not have happened.
Don’t drink while driving – you will spill the beer.
What’s a mixed feeling? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
My wife had her driver’s test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.
What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving.
Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.
The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of your eyes.
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
The driver behind you wants to go five miles per hour faster.
He who hesitates is not only lost, but several miles from the next freeway exit.
The vehicle in front of you is traveling slower than you are.