All One Liners

When I’m driving the highway by myself is when I write best.

I used to think that driving, sleepless, ambitious labor was what you needed to succeed.

I’m one of those fellows so frightened of driving that I go 80 miles an hour – and the more frightened I get, the faster I go.

I pray while driving. I pray while working, and while relaxing.

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right; and, again, making all crime mean and ugly.

The driving force behind doing everything that I’ve been doing for 11 years as a stand-up is having problems with authority and not liking to be told what to do.

When I do retire, I know for a fact that I’ll never be able to replace the incredible feeling I get when I’m driving an F1 car.

I was working on the farm to get in shape, about a mile away from my parents. You know, I did everything as a kid to stay in shape – jogging, work on the farm, driving the tractor. I’ll never forget.

If I could read while I was driving, showering, socializing or sleeping, I would do it.

Seeking can become stressful when you apply the same laws that you apply in the material world – hard work, exacting plans, driving ambition, and attachment to outcome.

When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.

I think that anybody’s craft is fascinating. A taxi driver talking about taxi driving is going to be very, very interesting.

And suddenly I realized that I was no longer driving the car consciously. I was driving it by a kind of instinct, only I was in a different dimension.

I always think about what I missed, and I think that was my driving force – never be satisfied with what I’ve done.

I’m saying, Come on, the global warming thing? How did the ice melt during the ice ages? Was the dinosaurs driving SUVs around back then?

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I don’t like being famous – it is like a prison. And driving for Ferrari would make it far worse.

There are some people who watch NASCAR for the highly skilled driving – but most people watch it for the crashes.

I don’t think I’m bad for people. If I did think I was bad for people, I would go back to driving a truck, and I really mean this.