All One Liners

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting,my wife finds out about it right away.

There are two times a man doesn’t understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage!

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

Love is talking about having children. Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the “y” becomes silent.

Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.

Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out.

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.