The only reason people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.
If God had really intended men to fly, he’d make it easier to get to the airport.
To many people holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance.
I finally figured out what ‘Delta’ stands for: Don’t Expect Legroom on This Airline.
Money isn’t everything…. there’s credit cards, money orders, and traveler’s checks.
Travel is very educational. I can now ask for “Kaopectate” in seven different languages.
It is impossible to come back from one’s journey; there’s always someone else coming back.
The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Like all great travelers, I have seen more than I remember; and I remember more than I have seen.
It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.
There is no legitimate reason for a travel agent to need to know if you have experience in jungle warfare.
If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, why do they keep abducting the dumbest people on Earth?
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?
One night a jet flew a little bit too close to my house. I was walking from the living room to the kitchen, and the stewardess told me to sit down.
Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy.
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
The trouble with law is lawyers.
Lawyers have feelings too. Allegedly.