All One Liners

The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common “enemy”.

Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now I have six children and no theories.

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners

Everywhere children are schooled to become masters at answering questions and to remain novices at asking them.

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of their tires.

Did you hear about the wife who shot her husband with a bow and arrow because she didn’t want to wake the children.

The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: “take two aspirin” and “keep away from children”!!!!!

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.