All One Liners

Some college students graduate with honors. But a lot more graduate with debts.

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

Our principal was an animal lover. So instead of sheepskin, our diplomas were polyester.

There are two kinds of commencement speeches: the good ones, and the one at your graduation.

When you graduate from correspondence school, do you wear a cap and gown to the post office?

Everyone could tell our son was a (Tigers) fan. When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.

Graduation is a real accomplishment. It means the teachers were finally able to get rid of you.

Just think, graduation is the last time school officials will be able to tell you what to wear.

Graduation is the last time you’ll see your teachers’ smiling faces. That’s why they’re smiling.

I’d advise you graduates to keep your graduation gown. It’s the only outfit you might not outgrow.

Some colleges hold graduation too early. Heck, some graduates weren’t even back from spring break.

Requiring graduates to wear a gown is the administration’s last chance to make students look stupid.

Remember, if you don’t want your pimples to show in your graduation picture, do like I did–wear a ski mask.