Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Don’t read success stories, you will only get a message. Read failure stories, you will get some idea to get success.
The secret to inner strength is being able to replicate moments of success so there is a predictable outcome.
To appreciate success, failures are necessary! so when you fail don’t quit, keep going! You will be successful.