Air conditioned environment – Do not open Windows!
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren’t broken.
A computer’s attention span is as long as its power cord.
According to my calculations the problem doesn’t exist.
A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation.
Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.
Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.
Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.
Smack your child every day; if you don’t know why – he does.
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.
Every book is a children’s book if the kid can read.
You can learn many things from children… how much patience you have for instance.
The advantage of having only one child is that you always know who did it.
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible… and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
The ambition of every small boy is to wash his mother’s ears.
There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
A balanced meal is whatever stays on the spoon en route to a baby’s mouth.
Never raise your hand to your children it leaves your midsection unprotected.