What do bees do with their honey? They cell it.
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
What’s the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull terrier? Lipstick!
What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine’s Day? You’re purrr-fect for me!
What are the 2 reasons the girl broke up with her boyfriend? Because he was a cheetah and because he was lion too much to her.
An ad at the zoo: ‘Don’t scare the ostriches! The floors are concrete!’
Why didn’t the dog want to play football? It was a boxer!
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
Who was the first to see a cow and think “I wonder what will happen if I squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?”
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
What did the egg say to the boiling water? It will take a minute for me to get hard I just got laid by a chick
Why did the snowman call his dog Frost ? Because frost bites !
Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he’ll starve to death while praying for a fish.
What’s got four legs and one arm? A Rottweiler.
Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? In a cat-alogue!
Why don’t the enemies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just flip them on their backs?
What’s the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
Nowadays, most of the children dream about an IPhone, when I was a child – I wanted a dog.
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it!
Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? Sure, they’re very scent-imental!