When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web…. Now even my cat has its own page.
Cats have nine lives… which makes them ideal for experimentation.
People on horses look better than they are; people in cars look worse than they are.
When turkeys mate they think of swans.
Cat: A pygmy lion who loathes mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.
Animals have two vital functions in today’s society: to be delicious and to fit well.
My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep.
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
If God didn’t want us to eat animals, then why’d he make them so tasty?
What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside? K9P.
Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? He wanted to get a long little doggie.
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Why isn’t there mouse flavored cat food? There is fish flavored!
My karma ran over my dogma.
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
Diplomacy is saying “nice doggy” until you find a rock.
What happens when it rains cats and dogs ? You can step in a poodle !