In America you can always find a party; in Russia the party always finds you.

America is a land where men govern, but women rule.

We will invest in our people, quality education, job opportunity, family, neighborhood, and yes, a thing we call America.

America is one long expectoration.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States; ask any Indian.

In America, you watch Big Brother ; in Soviet Russia, Big Brother watches you!

In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything.

In America you can always find a party; in Russia the party always finds you.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

America: Twenty million illegal aliens can’t be wrong!”

I believe that Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was… an Arctic region covered with ice.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country, but if you ask a native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

In America any boy may become President and I suppose it’s just one of the risks he takes.

In America nothing dies easier than tradition.

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

You can find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars.

Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.

Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands… but English women only hope to find in their butlers.

In this country you’re guilty until proven wealthy.