COFFEE.EXE Missing—Insert Cup and Press Any Key.

Cannot load Windows 95, Incorrect DOS Version.

Buy a Pentium 586/200 so you can reboot faster.

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.

Bug? That’s not a bug, that’s a feature.

Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for “still doesn’t work.”

Best file compression around: “DEL *.*” = 100% compression

Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat [Y/N]?

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic

A user will find any interface design intuitive…with enough practice.

A user friendly computer first requires a friendly user.

As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

A program is never finished until the programmer dies.

A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those from?

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

A paperless office has about as much chance as a paperless bathroom.

Any program that runs right is obsolete.

Any programming language is at its best before it is implemented and used.

All computers wait at the same speed.