Don’t hit the keys so hard, it hurts.
Don’t document the program; program the document.
Don’t compute and drive; the life you save may be your own.
Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
Disclaimer: Any errors in spelling, tact, or fact are transmission errors.
Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?
Crashing is the only thing windows does quickly.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Computers follow your orders, not your intentions.
Computer Science: solving today’s problems tomorrow.
Computers can never replace human stupidity.
Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
Computers are like air-conditioners: both stop working, if you open windows.
Computers are a more fun way to do the same work you’d have to do without them.
Computer programmers don’t byte, they nibble a bit.
Computer programmers do it byte by byte.
Computer and car salesmen differ in that the latter know when they are lying
Computer analyst to programmer: “You start coding. I’ll go find out what they want.”
Compatible: Gracefully accepts erroneous data from any source.