A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have déjà vu.

It is a hard matter, my fellow citizens, to argue with the belly, since it has no ears.

The Cardiologist’s Diet: If it tastes good, spit it out

A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit.

I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

Rich, fatty foods are like destiny: they too, shape our ends.

I’m allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.

I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is fourteen days.

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.

I keep trying to lose weight… but it keeps finding me!

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow ye diet.

Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.

More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.

I’ve decided that perhaps I’m bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

Bad diet advice: DO WHAT YOU ARE GOOD AT. LET’S SEE, I’M GOOD AT COOKING. I’M GOOD AT EATING.

OBESITY IS A WIDENING PROBLEM.

NEWS FLASH: Worldwide obesity epidemic.

NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS BEING THIN FEELS