You know what they call the fellow who finishes last in his medical school graduating class? They call him ‘Doctor.’

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor’s office was full of portraits by Picasso.

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‘All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.’

You may not be able to read a doctor’s handwriting and prescription, but you’ll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

When a man goes through six years training to be a doctor he will never be the same. He knows too much.

Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed; to kindness, to knowledge, we make promise only; pain we obey.

Whenever a doctor cannot do good, he must be kept from doing harm.

You’ve probably read in People that I’m a nice guy – but when the doctor first told me I had Parkinson’s, I wanted to kill him.

I’m not a doctor. I just have a tremendous amount of common sense.

You’ve probably read in People that I’m a nice guy – but when the doctor first told me I had Parkinson’s, I wanted to kill him.

Three-quarters of the sicknesses of intelligent people come from their intelligence. They need at least a doctor who can understand this sickness.

The idea of winning a doctor’s degree gradually assumed the aspect of a great moral struggle, and the moral fight possessed immense attraction for me.

I am not a witch doctor, and in fact, you cannot have a witch doctor. You are either a witch or a doctor.

My doctor tells me I should start slowing it down – but there are more old drunks than there are old doctors so let’s all have another round.

I went to a doctor and told him I felt normal on acid, that I was a light bulb in a world of moths. That is what the manic state… Read more »

My intent was to carry out my duty as a doctor, to end their suffering. Unfortunately, that entailed, in their cases, ending of the life.

I mean some doctor told me I had six months to live and I went to their funeral.

Cancer affects all of us, whether you’re a daughter, mother, sister, friend, coworker, doctor, patient.