Snake eyes is a gambling term… and an animal term, too.

As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.

My dog was my soul mate; we both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum.

They should call fishing what it really is… tricking and killing!

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building… on the ledge.

An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five-year-old boy.

The more one gets to know of men, the more one values dogs.

I find that a duck’s opinion of me is heavily influenced by whether or not I have bread.

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they’re really doing is saying, “I can’t knit, get this away from me!”

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

If you give a person a fish, they’ll fish for a day; but if you train a person to fish, they’ll fish for a lifetime.

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up… I couldn’t find tractors small enough to fit it.

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents.

Circus: A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look whether they’ve seen a moth or an ax murder.

Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.