Anglers think they are divining some primeval natural force by outwitting a fish, a creature that never even got out of the evolutionary starting gate.
Nobody ever committed suicide who had a good two-year-old in the barn.
We heard the sea is infatuated with sharks.
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
I think Bigfoot is blurry, that’s the problem; there’s a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.
You know you’re a redneck if you’ve ever had hot flashes at a cattle auction.
He has all the characteristics of a dog except loyalty.
Never wear anything that panics the cat.
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.
It’s the only state in the country where you can stand on your front porch and actually watch your dog run away for three days.
Elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.
If God didn’t want us to eat animals, then why’d he make them so tasty?
There are three types of intelligence: the intelligence of man, the intelligence of animals and the intelligence of the military… in that order.
For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.
Bugs: Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.
The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
If you can’t sleep, count sheep. Don’t count endangered animals. You will run out.