I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months – I don’t like to interrupt her.

Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.

A successful husband is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

Love is dinner in your favorite restaurant. Marriage is a take home packet.

All marriages are happy. It’s living together afterwards that is difficult.

Marriage is a 3-ring circus – engagement-ring, wedding-ring and Suffer-ring.

Before we got married I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets.

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked “What’s on the TV?” I said “Dust!”

The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…

Can someone tell me where on my marriage license I can find the expiration date ?

Love is holding hands in the street. Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Every man/woman should marry – After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

Married man live longer than a single man, but married man are lot more willing to die!

My wife tends to leave well enough alone. Unfortunately, things are rarely well enough.

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting,my wife finds out about it right away.

There are two times a man doesn’t understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage!

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.