Born to golf. Forced to work.

My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.

I’ve spent most of my life golfing – the rest I’ve just wasted.

Golf is what you play when you’re too out of shape to play softball

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents’ luck.

In golf as in life it is the follow through that makes the difference.

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five.

Golf was once a rich man’s sport, but now it has millions of poor players !

Golf has more rules than any other game, because golf has more cheaters than any other game.

When I play golf I always hit the ball really good. But it always goes someplace really bad.

The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play from a bad lie.

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

My uncle, who has golfed all his life, has his own definition of the word G.O.L.F.: Getting Old and Living Fine!

When I start out on the first tee, I feel like Tiger Woods. But after nine holes I feel more like Winnie the Pooh.

There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling, and golf. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling,

The only difference between driving in golf and driving a car is that when you drive a car you don’t want to hit anything.

I played golf yesterday, and I didn’t even break par. I did break my three wood, my putter, and a window in a nearby condo.