Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.

There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.

Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.

I’ve been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

That woman is liable to come at you like Doberman’s Pincher.

He that lies down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas.

Happiness is a warm puppy with an empty bladder.

Free Puppies: part German shepherd, part stupid dog.

A lot of rich women seeing how small they can get their dogs.

Dachshund: An animal half a dog high by a dog and a half long.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

Any member introducing a dog into the Society’s premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a… Read more »

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building… on the ledge.

Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding… Read more »

Dogs are like penises… I enjoy my own, but I don’t want to be touched by anyone else’s.

My dog’s favorite bone is in my arm!