Category Archives: Dog One Liners

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.

No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.

All dogs look up to you; all cats look down to you… only the pig looks at you as an equal.

The vet says the dog will not lick the salve because the salve tastes bad to the dog… hello?… he’s already licking his ass.

The measure of a bird dog’s intelligence can be determined by the length of time it takes to resign yourself to his way of thinking.

The man who gets bit twice by the same dog is better adapted for that kind of business than any other.

He that lies down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas.

You might be a redneck if… your front porch collapses and four dogs git killed.

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a… Read more »

Even a dog knows the difference between being tripped-over and kicked.

My dog was my soul mate; we both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum.

You might be a redneck if… your front porch collapses and four dogs git killed.

The more one gets to know of men, the more one values dogs.

… that indefatigable and unsavory engine of pollution

A barking dog is often more useful than a sleeping lion.

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building… on the ledge.

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.