Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
Chiropodist: A man who makes money hand over foot.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places; he told me to quit going to those places.
God heals, and the Doctor takes the Fee.
The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.
“Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears.” “Don’t answer!”
An apple every eight hours will keep three doctors away.
When they say Doctors are practicing, they aren’t kidding.
I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother.
I was thinking of becoming a doctor. I have the handwriting for it.
9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
The patient says, “Doctor, it hurts when I do this.” “Then don’t do that!”
When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But an onion a day keeps everyone away.
A man goes to a psychiatrist. “Nobody listens to me!” The doctor says, “Next!”
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know why those doctors were wearing masks.
The Doctor says, “You’ll live to be 60!” “I AM 60!” “See, what did I tell you?”
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute then forget the fruit!
Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor’s office is full of portraits by Picasso.
You’re old when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.