You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.
Remarriage is an excellent test of just how amicable your divorce was.
I’m still friends with all my ex’s, apart from my husbands.
It’s better to have loved and lost, then have to live with that bitch for the rest of my life.
Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
Alimony: the ransom the happy pay to the devil.
I don’t think I’ll get married again; every five years or so, I’ll just find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.
She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.
I’d never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.
My ex-wife is going to hell on a scholarship.
I used to have a speech impediment, but we got divorced.
My wife made me a millionaire. Before she divorced me, I had three million.
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.
When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me… no one showed up.
Alimony: A system wherein two people make a mistake, and one of them keeps on paying for it.
She should get a divorce and settle down.
My wife and I did the Jewish divorce custom where we took a broken glass and we put it back together.