Category Archives: Divorce One Liners

I’ve given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can’t divorce a book.

There’s nothing like a family crisis, especially a divorce, to force a person to re-evaluate his life.

Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marriage is liable to divorce.

Even with my divorce and with everything, I don’t need money.

Those who condemn gay marriage, yet are silent or indifferent to the breakdown of marriage and divorce, are, in my view, missing the real issue.

Let any pretty girl announce a divorce in Hollywood and the wolves come running. Fresh meat for the beast, and they are always hungry.

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they ‘don’t understand’ one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to. Read more… Read more »

Each generation wants new symbols, new people, new names. They want to divorce themselves from their predecessors.

Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it ‘all the money,’ but they changed it to ‘alimony.’ It’s ripping your heart out through your wallet.

Remarriage is an excellent test of just how amicable your divorce was.

American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced.

After five years of marriage, it is devastating to have the person with the good credit move out.

Always get married early in the morning; that way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.

Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible; in a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

I think that after the third marriage Georgie tried to claim his divorce attorney as a dependent.

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are made in America.

Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.