Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Computers follow your orders, not your intentions.
Computer Science: solving today’s problems tomorrow.
Computers can never replace human stupidity.
Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
Computers are like air-conditioners: both stop working, if you open windows.
Computers are a more fun way to do the same work you’d have to do without them.
Computer programmers don’t byte, they nibble a bit.
Computer programmers do it byte by byte.
Computer and car salesmen differ in that the latter know when they are lying
Computer analyst to programmer: “You start coding. I’ll go find out what they want.”
Compatible: Gracefully accepts erroneous data from any source.
COFFEE.EXE Missing—Insert Cup and Press Any Key.
Cannot load Windows 95, Incorrect DOS Version.
Buy a Pentium 586/200 so you can reboot faster.
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.
Bug? That’s not a bug, that’s a feature.
Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for “still doesn’t work.”
Best file compression around: “DEL *.*” = 100% compression