Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable…
Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!
What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.
What did the little Mexican boy get for christmas? My bike.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.” Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.”
For Christmas I want Santa’s list of naughty girls.
A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing.
Selfishness makes Christmas a burden, love makes it a delight.
Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for that hard-to-find person.
A woman voting for divorce is like a turkey voting for Christmas.
Can I have your picture, so Santa Claus knows exactly what to give me.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
If Ifs and Buts were candies and nuts, we’d all have a merry Christmas.
I got cold hard cash for Christmas. Five bucks frozen in a block of ice.
Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.
Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money
Whats the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at 3 ho’s!
I still have my Christmas tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn’t see any forests.