It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

It’s easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them.

It’s bad luck to be superstitious.

It’s always darkest just before it gets pitch black.

It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal the neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

It hurts to be on the cutting edge.

Isn’t it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction and gypsy fortune tellers listen to weather forecasts and economists?

I.R.S.: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

I’m reading a very interesting book on anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week.

I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing!

I’m one of those bad things that happen to good people.

If you’re born again, do you have two bellybuttons?

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

If you want divine justice, die.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

If you think there’s good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.

If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we’ve solved it.