Be careful what rut you choose. You may be in it the rest of your life.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Attempt to get a new car for your spouse–it’ll be a great trade!
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Assassins do it from behind
Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
Anger is only one letter short of danger
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand
All stressed out and no one to choke.
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
Honk if anything falls off.