He who laughs last thinks slowest.
He who hesitates is probably right
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Half the people you know are below average.
Guns don’t kill people, postal workers do.
God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
Give me ambivalence or give me something else.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the ‘Net and he won’t bother you for weeks.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
The geek shall inherit the earth.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Forget about World Peace…Visualize using your turn signal!
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it’s an amusement park
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs
Failure is not an option – it comes bundled with the software.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.