Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but it sure keeps you from enjoying it.
You think Oedipus had a problem — Adam was Eve’s mother.
You should emulate your hero’s, but don’t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
Yield to Temptation … it may not pass your way again.
The world is full of willing people: some willing to work and some willing to let them.
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have a “s” in it?
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
Which is worse: ignorance or apathy? Who knows? Who cares?
Where there’s a will, I want to be in it!
When you see the handwriting on the wall, you can bet you’re in a public restroom.
When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.
When you don’t know what you are doing, do it neatly.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.