There are lots of reasons to love a horse, sometime it’s no more than the sweet little way he stepped on some asshole’s foot.

There are lots of reasons to love a horse, sometime it’s no more than the sweet little way he stepped on some asshole’s foot.

Chicken: An egg’s way of making more eggs.

I wanna put stickers on turtles… I don’t know why.

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

I saw a mosquito in Alaska so big… I could see his brand.

I’m afraid of sharks – but only in a water situation.

I’m afraid of sharks – but only in a water situation.

Don’t take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Zebra: A horse behind bars.

When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web…. Now even my cat has its own page.

Cats have nine lives… which makes them ideal for experimentation.

People on horses look better than they are; people in cars look worse than they are.

When turkeys mate they think of swans.

Cat: A pygmy lion who loathes mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.

Animals have two vital functions in today’s society: to be delicious and to fit well.