If you’re a fish, and you want to be a fish stick, you must have very good posture.
My favorite kind of wild animal is on a plate.
Bugs: Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.
A bee is never as busy as it seems; it’s just that it can’t buzz any slower.
I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung up by its tail outside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass… Read more »
Even a dog knows the difference between being tripped-over and kicked.
It was all the wolf could do to keep us away from his door.
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
A parade should have bands OR horses, not both.
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.
Cats… a standing rebuke to behavioral scientist.
You might be a redneck if… you can get dog hair from out of your belly button.
A parade should have bands OR horses, not both.
When they were naming the animals somebody got lazy… whats he doing?… eating ants… DONE!
Anglers think they are divining some primeval natural force by outwitting a fish, a creature that never even got out of the evolutionary starting gate.
Nobody ever committed suicide who had a good two-year-old in the barn.
We heard the sea is infatuated with sharks.
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.