Why didn’t the dog want to play football? It was a boxer!
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
Who was the first to see a cow and think “I wonder what will happen if I squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?”
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw… Read more »
What did the egg say to the boiling water? It will take a minute for me to get hard I just got laid by a chick
Why did the snowman call his dog Frost ? Because frost bites !
Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he’ll starve to death while praying for a fish.
What’s got four legs and one arm? A Rottweiler.
Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? In a cat-alogue!
Why don’t the enemies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just flip them on their backs?
What’s the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.
Nowadays, most of the children dream about an IPhone, when I was a child – I wanted a dog.
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it!
Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? Sure, they’re very scent-imental!
Ham and Eggs: A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? “I love you a ton!”
What dog can jump higher than a building? Anydog, buildings can’t jump!
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
How do you stop a fish from smelling? Cut its nose off.