Where do you find a no-legged dog? Right where you left him.
She’s so wrinkled, her mother was a Shar Pei.
I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks
I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young.
Men are like frogs, the most important thing is to jump on faster.
Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, the chicken was somewhere between 8′ to 11′ tall.
Occasionally, a true friend gives his paw not his hand…
Dear ladies, if you want to have more free time and have fun on the weekends, teach your men fishing!
Do you know any bird that can write? Pen-guine.
If a giraffe had a sore throat, how many lozenges would it need to make it better?
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
Whoever coined the phrase “Quiet as a mouse” has never stepped on one.
What do bees do with their honey? They cell it.
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
What’s the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull terrier? Lipstick!
What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine’s Day? You’re purrr-fect for me!
What are the 2 reasons the girl broke up with her boyfriend? Because he was a cheetah and because he was lion too much to her.
An ad at the zoo: ‘Don’t scare the ostriches! The floors are concrete!’