If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be ineligible for any office of trust in the United States.
Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.
If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi.
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
In this country you’re guilty until proven wealthy.
I’ve always tried to be a good American citizen, so I have made it a point not to learn any other language but English.
The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.
Americans always try to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.
Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
America is a land where men govern, but women rule.
A Canadian is merely an unarmed American with health care.
That is what has made America last these past 200 centuries.
Ten men in the country could buy the world and ten million can’t buy enough to eat.
Where else but in America could the women’s liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support?
The greatest American superstition is belief in facts.
America is the only country in the world where the poor have a parking problem.
Only in America are there handicap-parking places in front of a skating rink.
In America, anyone can be president. That’s one of the risks you take.
Sure you can trust the government! Just ask a native American!