Your body is a temple, but keep the spirits on the outside.

They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who’s in a hurry ?

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.

You don’t have to be a beer drinker to play darts, but it helps.

An alcoholic is someone whose feet are firmly planted in thin air.

The alcoholic’s mind is like a bad neighborhood, don’t go there alone.

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems…but then again, neither does milk.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

A toast to alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.

Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

Everybody should believe in something; I believe I’ll have another drink.

The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me.

Yes, alcohol kills brain cells. But only the ones that contain good sense, embarrassment and restraint.

How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.