We never knew he was a drunk… until he showed up to work sober.

Prevent hangovers… Stay drunk.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

I drink to make other people interesting.

I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.

My liver has been bad and must be punished.

I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.

Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.

There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.

There is a devil in every berry of the grape.

I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.

I have a drinking problem – I can’t afford it.

Remember: “I” before “E,” except in Budweiser.

Reality is an illusion created by lack of alcohol.!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend !!!!

An alcoholic is an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.

If you wish to keep your affairs secret, drink no wine.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.