Category Archives: Alcohol One Liners

In principle, I can stop drinking, the thing is – I don’t have such a principle.

I’m not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, but I already have one.

It’s better to be a worldwide alcoholic, than an Alcoholic Anonymous.

A man enters a store and says: “15 litres of wine please.” “Did you bring a container for this?” “You’re speaking to it.”

You can consider yourself lucky in life, if the cognac you drink is older than the woman that you’re sleeping with.

Tequila is a good drink: you drink it and you feel like a cactus; the only problem is that in the morning the thorns grow inward.

Don’t forget that alcohol helps to remove the stress, the bra, the panties and many other problems.

Unfortunately, but sometimes a woman can’t find herself a man. She doesn’t like the drunken ones, and the sober ones doesn’t like her.

No! for the last time stop asking if i am drunk. I am not drunk! Who would name their kid drunk?

If you see me with a water bottle, there’s probably vodka in it

The speed of light is when you take out a bottle of beer out of the fridge before the light comes on.

My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy… so I got drunk.