If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Good advice is rarer than rubies.

Whatever advice you give, be brief.

Good things, when short, are twice as good.

When a thing is done, advice comes too late.

Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.

To ask and give advice is the cheapest bargain.

Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties.

To accept good advice is but to increase one’s own ability

Good advice usually works best when preceded by a bad scare.

When we ask advice we are usually looking for an accomplice.

There is nothing we receive with so much reluctance as advice.

To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.

If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.