What does CPA stand for? Can’t Produce Anything
Accountants don’t die, they just lose there balance.
What an accountant! He is a ledger in his own lifetime.
What would Economics be without assumptions? Accounting
What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? Lost
What does FCPA stand for? Finally Caught Pinching the Assets
What’s an actuary? An accountant without the sense of humour.
When do accountants laugh out loud? When somebody asks for a raise
Sign in an accountant office: “In god we trust.All others we audit.”
What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone? Popular
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? Depreciation.
Why did God invent economists? So accountants could have someone to laugh at.
An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
Why accountants don’t read novels? Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
How do you know accountants have no imagination? They named a firm PricewaterhouseCoopers.
What’s the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone.
What’s an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.
How can you tell when the Chief Accountant is getting soft? When he actually listens to Marketing before saying No
What’s the definition of an accountant? Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
What does an accountant say when you ask him the time? It’s 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait – 13 seconds, no wait – 14 seconds, no wait……